is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
