it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
