my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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