If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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