apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
