what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Come share oat with me in your robe
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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