Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
