no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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