marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
