Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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