Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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