So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
