im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
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I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH