i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
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She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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