ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down