Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
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Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
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The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.