The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?