Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics