i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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