p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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