Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
