im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize