I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
