Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
