thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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