just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
