I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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