If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
