what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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