why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize