Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
