What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Omg I joined a choir last night...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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