i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
