There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
