I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
