i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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