Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
