Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
A bitchslap is in order.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
