I think I am morally bankrupt
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
