I just cut my nipple shaving
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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