her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
