Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
