i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize