woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
