i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
