break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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