Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize