my being single is dangerous.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
i now understand why vodka
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
