i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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