So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
