Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
birth control should be required to get into college
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
