idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
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Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
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I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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