If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
