she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
