so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
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We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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