Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
