mondays should just be called national damage control day
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
