Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
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