btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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