3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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