Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
