i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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