So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
