the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
