Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
nutella sex= disaster
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
