yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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