is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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