i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
